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Your birth story matters, your experience matters!
Maybe you had an emergency C-section after hours of labor or your baby was rushed to the NICU. There may have been life or death moments for you and/or your baby or medical staff who dismissed your concerns. Or maybe there were no medical complications at all—your birth just went so differently from what you imagined that you feel traumatized by it.
Now, weeks or months later, you can't stop replaying those moments. You feel angry, cheated, scared, or numb when you think about the birth. You might avoid talking about it, or you can't stop talking about it, trying to make sense of what happened. When people say "at least you have a healthy baby," you feel guilty for not just being grateful—but you also feel unseen in your pain.
Here's what I need you to know: Your feelings are valid. Birth trauma is real. And you deserve support to heal.
As a traumatic birth therapist in Austin specializing in birth trauma therapy and NICU trauma, I understand that the way you became a mother matters. Not only do I have the professional experience to support you, but I also am a NICU mom myself and have experienced complex births and pregnancies.
What is Birth Trauma?
Birth trauma isn't determined by what happened medically—it's determined by your experience of what happened. Two women can have the exact same birth and only one feels traumatized. This is because trauma is about your subjective experience of fear, helplessness, or lack of control. Birth trauma can include:
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Emergency Medical Situations: Emergency C-section, Severe tearing or complications, Postpartum hemorrhage, Baby not breathing at birth, Maternal health crisis (preeclampsia, seizures, etc.), Any situation where you or baby's life was in danger
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Experiences Without Medical Complications: Feeling unheard or dismissed by medical providers, Loss of bodily autonomy or feeling violated, Rushed interventions without explanation or consent, Unwanted people in the delivery room, Birth going completely differently than planned, Feeling unsupported or alone during labor, Being separated from your baby after birth
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Long-Term Medical Interventions: Prolonged induction or labor, Multiple failed interventions, Physical pain that wasn't adequately managed, Epidural not working or wearing off
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The Experience of Helplessness: Feeling powerless during labor and delivery, Being unable to advocate for yourself, Watching your baby in distress, Not being able to protect your baby or yourself, Loss of control over your body or birth plan
Important: You don't need to justify why your birth was traumatic. If it felt traumatic to you, it was traumatic. Period.
Signs You're Experiencing Birth Trauma
Many mothers don't realize they're dealing with birth trauma in Austin because they think "it could have been worse" or "at least my baby is okay." But trauma symptoms don't discriminate based on how "bad" things were objectively. Here are signs you might need birth trauma therapy:
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Re-experiencing the Birth: Intrusive flashbacks or images from the birth, Nightmares about the birth or similar situations, Feeling like you're reliving it when triggered, Constant mental replay of what happened
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Avoidance: Avoiding talking about the birth, Avoiding the hospital or medical settings, Avoiding anything that reminds you of the birth, Feeling numb or disconnected when the birth comes up, Changing the subject when people ask about your birth story
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Hyperarousal: Feeling on edge or jumpy, Hypervigilance about baby's health, Difficulty sleeping even when baby sleeps, Irritability or angry outbursts, Panic attacks or heightened anxiety
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Negative Thoughts and Feelings: Feeling like you failed at birth, Shame about how your body "performed", Anger at medical providers, your partner, or yourself, Loss of trust in your body, Feeling disconnected from your baby, Questioning whether you want more children
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Physical Symptoms: Panic attacks when thinking about the birth, Physical tension or pain in body parts related to trauma, Difficulty with physical touch, especially in areas involved in birth, Fear or pain during postpartum healing
NICU Trauma & Grief
Having a baby in the NICU is one of the most helpless, terrifying experiences a parent can go through. This isn’t the way it was supposed to start. Instead of the soft, sleepy newborn days you imagined, you’re thrown into a world of monitors, alarms, medical jargon, and impossible decisions. You may find yourself learning how to breathe again between updates, living hour to hour, and trying to be strong when you feel anything but. You’re running on empty—sleeping on uncomfortable fold-out chairs, tracking pump sessions, refreshing hospital cameras in the middle of the night, and holding yourself together while your baby fights for stability. It’s a level of fear, grief, and uncertainty most people will never understand.
As a pregnancy complications therapist in Austin—and a mom to a NICU graduate—I understand how deeply this experience shapes you. NICU trauma doesn’t end the day your baby is discharged. It lives in your nervous system and shows up in unexpected moments, long after your baby is home and “doing well.” Many parents describe feeling terrified their baby might die, guilty about the birth or diagnosis, heartbroken to miss the newborn experience they imagined, and overwhelmed by the constant pumping, commuting, and medical updates. It’s common to feel disconnected from your baby, torn between the NICU and home, or devastated every time you leave the hospital without them. These aren’t signs of weakness—they are normal reactions to a profoundly traumatic experience.
Even after your baby comes home, the emotional weight often lingers. You may find yourself checking your baby’s breathing repeatedly, avoiding medical settings, struggling to bond, or experiencing flashbacks to procedures and crises. Ongoing worry that something bad will happen, difficulty trusting your baby is truly okay, postpartum anxiety or depression, and even fear of future pregnancies are all common. Certain dates, memories, or doctor visits may trigger strong reactions—especially for parents who faced medical complications, long NICU stays, or the loss of one baby while another survived. Every NICU story is different, but none of them are easy—and you don’t have to navigate the aftershocks alone.
Birth Trauma Affecting Your Relationship with Your Baby
One of the most painful aspects of birth trauma is when it interferes with bonding. This creates additional guilt and shame—you feel like you should just be grateful, but you're struggling to connect.
Healing the Parent-Child Relationship
Birth trauma therapy in Austin can help repair these bonds: Separating the baby from the trauma, Processing trauma so it doesn't interfere with bonding, Creating new, positive experiences with your baby, Releasing guilt about bonding difficulties, Understanding that bonding can happen anytime—it's not too late
Many mothers who struggle with bonding after birth trauma go on to have deeply connected relationships with their children once the trauma is processed.
You Deserve to Heal From Your Birth Experience
Right now, you might feel stuck in your birth story. Every time someone asks about the birth, you either avoid the topic completely or find yourself obsessively retelling the story, searching for understanding. You might feel guilty for not "just being grateful" or angry that no one seems to understand how much you're hurting.
Here's what I want you to know: Your feelings about your birth are valid, and you deserve support to heal.
What Healing from Birth Trauma Looks Like
Early in Therapy:
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Finally feeling heard and validated
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Understanding that your trauma is real
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Releasing guilt about your feelings
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Beginning to separate the trauma from your baby
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Having language for what you experienced
After Several Weeks:
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Reduced flashbacks and intrusive memories
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Less emotional charge when thinking about birth
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Better sleep and reduced hypervigilance
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More present with your baby
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Beginning to feel hope about healing
Long-Term Healing:
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Able to tell your birth story without retraumatization
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Memories still there but no longer overwhelming
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Reconnected with your body and baby
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Trust in yourself as a mother despite traumatic start
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Wisdom and resilience from surviving something hard
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Compassion for yourself and what you went through
Important: Healing doesn't mean forgetting or deciding it "wasn't that bad." Healing means the trauma no longer controls your present. You can honor what happened while moving forward.
FAQ
1 / How do I know if my birth was traumatic enough to need therapy?
If you're asking this question, you probably need support. There's no threshold of "traumatic enough." If the birth left you feeling distressed, having intrusive thoughts, or struggling to process what happened, birth trauma therapy can help. Your subjective experience is what matters, not how "bad" it was objectively.
2 / Can I have birth trauma even if my baby is healthy?
Absolutely. Birth trauma is about YOUR experience during birth, not just the medical outcome. You can have a healthy baby and still be traumatized by the birth experience. These feelings can coexist—gratitude for your baby and trauma from the birth.
3 / How long after birth can I start trauma therapy?
You can start traumatic birth therapy at any point—weeks, months, or even years after the birth. Trauma doesn't have an expiration date. Many mothers don't recognize their birth was traumatic until months or years later when symptoms persist or worsen. For NICU parents I am happy to support you during NICU stays or long after.
4 / Will talking about the birth make it worse?
This is a common fear. With a trained traumatic birth therapist using evidence-based trauma therapy, talking about the birth in a structured way actually helps reduce trauma symptoms. We won't retraumatize you—we'll help you process and integrate the experience at a pace that feels safe.
5 / Is birth trauma the same as PTSD?
Birth trauma can lead to PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Some mothers meet full criteria for PTSD after birth, while others have significant trauma symptoms that don't meet full PTSD criteria. Either way, birth trauma therapy can help.
6 / Will I need medication along with therapy?
Not necessarily. Many mothers heal from birth trauma through therapy alone. However, if you're also experiencing postpartum depression or severe anxiety, medication combined with therapy can be beneficial. As a therapist, I can't prescribe medication but can provide referrals to psychiatrists if needed.
7 / What if I want to have another baby but I'm terrified?
This is one of the most common concerns I hear as a pregnancy complications therapist in Austin. We can work through your trauma from the previous birth/pregnancy, process your fears about future pregnancies, and prepare you mentally if you decide to try again. Many mothers successfully have subsequent children after processing birth trauma.
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